The Grifters Are Getting Weirder
I thought I would share a few selections from last week’s Promoter Email Avalanche (PEA, perfect for pea-sized brains). The grifters seem to be getting tired – they’re starting to make mistakes and are letting AI generate really overblown accolades, more than the usual fawning crapola. The excerpts from grifters emails are in bold italics. My snarky commentary is in plain text. And my snark is just for you. Though it’s tempting to send it in an emailed reply to the con artists – no. Never respond. Never let them know they’ve stumbled across a valid email address. And now, on with the Grift!
THE PROFOUND RESILIENCE OF … Bacon, maybe?
“My name is Georgina Godwin, writing from Monocle Radio regarding a potential featured interview for our 2026 series, “The Audacity of the Page: Voices of Modern Literature.””
I’ve been call audacious quite a few times in my life, so this must be legit.
“Our team has been captivated by the sheer scale and imaginative energy of Steamed and Steamy. Your ability to orchestrate a narrative featuring high stakes and the profound resilience of the human spirit is exactly the kind of bold, genre-defying storytelling our audience appreciates. The “competing narratives” between the mechanical, brass-bound world of “Industralia” and the absolute, radiant warmth of “Steamed and Steamy” recipes offer a unique “Graybeard” wisdom on modern emotional endurance and the architecture of a character-driven legacy that aligns perfectly with our mission to highlight the most vital voices of the year.”
My goodness, I had no idea that my small cookbook featuring foods my characters eat in my books is actually a orchestrated narrative featuring high stakes and the profound resilience of the human spirit. She must be referring to my life-altering “Bombastic Baked Bacon” recipe, I’m sure.
And next comes what we’ve all been waiting for, right?
“…we welcome voluntary donations that help support the program’s publicity and influencer outreach efforts. While there is no obligation, these contributions allow us to continue amplifying important, high-concept stories across our national audience. For authors seeking a dedicated marketing push, we also offer Premium Podcast Promotion opportunities.”
There is indeed a Georgina Godwin at Monocle Radio, but I’m certain she has a professional monocle.com email address like everyone else at Monocle, rather than the wonky georgina.at.radiomonocle gmail address. In fact, I know she does. I forwarded the grifter’s email to her, so she’s aware that her name is being abused for phishing schemes.
ROBIN LAYS AN EGG
“Hi, I came across your book and one moment stuck with me (the [insert specific scene/idea]). It actually played out visually in a really cinematic way. Out of curiosity, have you ever thought about how that scene would look as a short teaser? — Robin”
Yes, I was so inspired when I wrote about “(the [insert specific scene/idea])”, it nearly left me breathless. I was able to tie in the setting of “specific scene” with the overall theme of the book, which readers will no doubt recognize as “idea”.
SECRET REVEALED! CURLY BRACKETS TURN YOUR BOOK INTO A MOVIE OR TV SHOW
I recently came across your writing and wanted to say I really enjoyed it, especially {specific detail: character development, emotional depth, pacing, etc.}. There’s a natural cinematic quality in your storytelling that immediately stood out. I work in film and TV development, focusing on identifying stories for adaptation as we build an upcoming production slate. Your work genuinely caught my attention, and I’d be interested in exploring potential collaboration or adaptation.
Your work genuinely caught my attention too, {but not in a good way}.
BOOM OR BACKFIRE?
“I’m part of the Book Launch Boom community, and I’m currently pioneering a more direct way for authors to showcase their work to a targeted audience. We’ve launched a self-upload portal that requires a one-time $30 library card for lifetime access.”
The real Book Launch Boom charges $25 a year for a membership, not $30 for a “library card”.
There are hundreds of good articles out there, striving to educate you and help you avoid the scams. Here’s a few I’ve recently read:
The Author’s Guild Publishing Scam Alerts
Literary Hub: How authors can protect themselves from scams, according to a book publicist
I Did Not Send You that Email About Your Book (unless I did)
Lori Alden Holuta
Lori Alden Holuta lives between the cornfields of Mid-Michigan, where she grows vegetables and herbs when she’s not writing, editing, or playing games with a cat named Chives.
