Social Distancing 101: Free Literature

Staying home means more than trying to stretch your food so you don’t have to shop so often. Today’s advice is all about fun.

Read a Book! There’s no better time than now to catch up on your to-read pile. If you don’t have a stockpile of books already, there’s lots to read for free online. If you have a Kindle, many Amazon authors offer free books, usually as a lead-in to tempt you into following the rest of a series. I’ve discovered some excellent authors this way.

Your local library may have online resources too. Mine offers checkout services for digital books, movies and music.

I’ve got some of my short stories, printable coloring pages, and a collection of Steampunk adventure YouTube movies at The Brassbright Chronicle. Look for the “Free Fun” menu tab near the top.

And last but certainly not least, Mims House books has a fantastic offer for parents needing children’s books. Here’s their announcement:

NOTICE: To support families during the COVID-19 outbreak, all of our ebooks and audiobooks are free. We guarantee that you’ll be able to open these on the device of your choice. To get it free, ADD TO CART. The price will be zero.  Check out as usual. (Be sure you selected the ebook or audiobook version. If you see an amount other than zero, you chose a paperback or hardcover book. Remove it from the cart and instead add the correct version.) To narrow down your choices, click on the category below.

Deep In The Heart Of Taxes

(With profuse apologies.)

The stars at night – laugh at my plight
Deep in the heart of taxes.

I pray and sigh – my gross is wide and high
Deep in the heart of taxes.

Exemptions loom – miss one, yer doomed
Deep in the heart of taxes.

Reminds me of – a couple of
Deductions, take that! Taxes.

The accountants cry – ki-yip-pie-yi
Deep in the heart of taxes.

The late folk rush – midnight filing crush
Deep in the heart of taxes.

The dependents wail – Dad’s off to jail
Deep in the heart of taxes.

The payers bawl – and bawl and bawl
Deep in the heart of taxes.

Original Song with Lyrics at YouTube: Deep In The Heart Of Texas

Big Green Sharpie!

Am spending my workday sorting through a ton of paperwork given to me to untangle. It is mostly in Spanish, much of it crumpled from traveling in backpacks, and all of it highly convoluted. So I am creating order out of disorder with the help of my….. (cue the music! I feel a song coming on!)

BIG GREEN SHARPIE

Big Green Sharpie
Gonna get me through my day

Big Green Sharpie
Fine Point Marker all the way!

Big Green Sharpie
Gonna make it all okay

Big Green Sharpie
Make my troubles go away

Chorus:
Oh! Sharpie! Forest Green and Large
With you in my hand, I’m feeling so in charge
Oh! Sharpie! Emerald Hued and Huge
I’ll tell the world to bite me, I know you’re not a kludge!

Big Green Sharpie
Makin’ marks upon my paper

Big Green Sharpie
All my troubles go to vapor!

Big Green Sharpie
Life with you is such a caper

Big Green Sharpie
You’re so silky, not a scraper

(Repeat chorus loud enough to wake up cubiclemates)

BIG FINISH:
You’re so BIG!
You’re so GREEN!
You’re the best I’ve ever seen!

My favorite old standby!
Your fumes make me high!
So happy I could cry!

Biiiiiiiig – GREEN! *two step* SHARPIE!
whoa whoa whoa scoobydobedoBOP!

An Ode To WordPress

An Ode to WordPress

A newish Presser is what I be
With lots to learn, it’s plain to see

And so I dream, perhaps to Blog.
Or is it Post? I am agog.

But I’ve been a writer, now for ages.
I can’t help but gaze fondly at the Pages.

Or, here’s a thought, a thought I think,
Could my notion fit inside a Link?

But wait, over there! I see a Library!
But, no shelves of books, how contrary!

But I don’t fear, I’m feeling snug in
All that I need, is just the right Plugin.